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Thursday, May 28 2015

Yesterday I gave you 3 reasons why it's awesome to be a real estate investor...

Except that I forgot one.  Maybe it's the most important one there is.

Many people don't know but this business will weather the worst recessions unlike any other business out there.  When investing in multifamily assets, this asset class weathers better than other commercial asset classes.

Because...

Even if the economy is tanking, people still need a place to live.  Nobody is giving up their house, condo, townhouse or apartment unit to live under a bridge in a cardboard box.  Okay, maybe some people do but that's not the norm.

They'll give up their small office, storage unit, warehouse, retail store, or any other type of asset except...

Mobile home parks.  They also do exceptionally well during recessions and will be the next greatest real estate trend.

Why is this?

Baby Boomers.

This encompasses the largest segment of the population right now.  The problem is, inflation is rising (and will being rising at a more rapid pace in the next couple of years), prescription medication costs continue skyrocketing, and people are living longer.  Nobody can live on a paltry Social Security check...for those who actually get it because now, the Department of Treasury is seizing what little bit people are expecting as their end-of-life income to pay back student debt (either theirs or that of their child).

And did you know that the scum-sucking Feds can even take Social Security over-payments from surviving children now...and they are for the first time in history?  Look it up if you don't believe me.  Apparently there's some small one-line part of the law that states Social Security can collect from surviving spouses and children if Social Security has overpaid an individual during his or her lifetime.  Bastards!  And for the first time in history, they're starting to collect from surviving spouses and children on this debt through people's owed tax refunds.

I think people are going to realize that there will be more and more stories like mine where the government will begin seizing tax returns for this reason or that excuse, regardless of whether it's valid or not.  This will leave people with even LESS income than they previously thought they would be receiving.

So, cheaper and more affordable housing will be the thing of the future for both college kids and Baby Boomers alike because of NECESSITY.  This includes small apartment units and MHP units.

Both types of asset classes were thoroughly discussed at this past Vegas event including how to get involved in either (or both) types of passive income assets with no cash and no credit.

By the way, I will no longer be talking about MHPs as a profit opportunity for 2 reasons: (1) inventory is getting low, and (2) I'm not interested in creating anymore competition with this asset class anymore.  Aran Dunlop, my star MHP student, did a full presentation on how he was able to get started in MHPs and retire financially free in his early 30s by using this sole asset class as his money-making vehicle.

And this presentation is available on my Vegas DVD set.

But perhaps even more mind-blowing than that, I talk about this new profit opportunity as the real estate market, yet again, shifts beneath our feet.

And I think this opportunity will blow your mind since I've NEVER talked about it before. It's what I'm doing right now and through the summer 2015 for my new real estate profit center.  Yes, it's worth it just to hear this presentation ALONE and for nothing else.  I talked about it in full detail at the very end of Day 2.

Here's the link to watch a ridiculous amount of testimonials from the seminar, to listen to my short audio seminar, and to take advantage of this deal before it ends tomorrow.

http://www.monicamain.com/no_cash_no_credit_event_videos

If you have any questions, please call my office at 661-295-5050.

See you at the top!

Your mentor,

Monica Main

Posted by: Monica Main AT 01:30 pm   |  Permalink   |  Email
Wednesday, May 27 2015

There are very few businesses that can give you the financial freedom that you're looking for without the load of headaches most other businesses will bring.

Many of you know that I'm in the process of minimizing Global Success because it's like most businesses.  It sucks.  The overhead sucks.  Having employees sucks.  Dealing with loads of government paperwork sucks.  It's a headache that I'm looking at minimizing then ultimately eliminating from my life.

The good news is that I can eliminate this business because I've built passive income streams for myself.  And that is the top reason why having passive income real estate...passive income!  You get money every month whether you're on a beach in Tahiti or lying in a hospital in a coma.  Hopefully it's the former and not the latter.

The second reason: fewer headaches.  In fact, if you do it right, you can get it down to no headaches by implementing the correct management strategies in place.  My only rule about real estate really is that, if you're taking over a property that needs "work" (either rehab, lease-up, or both) then you do the work then pass the responsibility onto someone else who can run it on autopilot so you don't have to deal with it anymore.  You just collect the money.

The last reason is that you're getting involved in a business (real estate investing) that allows you to make more money as the economy inflates.  Every 15 to 18 years, rents double.  You are gaining appreciation value on your properties, even though you're getting a huge tax write-off for depreciation (for 27.5 years) because of the aging of your building(s).  Awesome deal if you ask me.  There is no other such retirement pay-out as powerful as the financial structure I've just laid out above.

So, what's your freaking problem?  Why haven't you started investing yet?  Is it fear?  Do you think you don't have the right resources? What is it?

I've polled many of my students when I do phone consulting sessions and the biggest fear is that they don't have the money to be able to pull of these types of deals.  So, they never do them.

The problem is that your window of opportunity to get involved (before the economy takes off like full gangbusters, leaving ZERO property inventory left) is closing by the end of this year.  If you don't get your initial properties now, you'll be left out 'til about 2022-ish before you may see a lull in the market that will allow you to get something at a deal.  That "lull" will be at a MUCH HIGHER PRICE than what you can get a property for today still.

Coincidentally, I did an entire 2-day seminar event a couple of weeks ago in Vegas that talks exclusively about No Cash No Credit 100% LTV Real Estate Investing Strategies. It's the first, only, and last of this type of event that I'll ever do.  You'll either learn and run with these strategies...or you'll be left out in the cold.  It's your choice.

What's awesome about this event is that it takes you from basic to advanced investing strategies from Day 1 through Day 2.  I had a variety of different guest speakers, probably the most I've ever had in one single event.  

I had a successful student, Paul S. from Vermont, speak about how he got started acquiring his first 2 apartment buildings.  I had credit building expert, Nick Dilegge, speak about strategies I've never revealed before on personal credit secrets.  

I had Aran Dunlop speak. He's my star MHP investing student who hasn't spoken at any of my events for several years now so it's a treat when he speaks about how he got started in one of the most profitable asset classes out there: mobile home parks.  He also spoke on the second day about his secrets in funneling in investors for raising quick capital on deals.

Ron Espinoza spoke about the changes in the 100% LTV Bond Funding Program as well as the brand new 60/40 program.  This is where his bridge lenders will fund 60% of the LTV and the rest (40%) can be held as a private mortgage by the seller.

Of course I spoke at the event.  I covered several hours on the first day and the second day. I've also revealed different secrets about the 100% LTV lease-option strategy that I've never revealed before, including providing templates and contracts that my students can use for their own deals.

As the years roll on with real estate investing, finding your own properties through letter campaigns and ultimately doing lease-option deals with property owners will be your best (and probably your only) option as we roll into 2016 and beyond.  This will be because inventory will be scarce and/or overpriced in most areas of the country, making passive income real estate acquisitions hard to come by or very difficult to do at best.

If you're looking for that "one-stop-shop" to get every morsel of information including materials (such as templates, contracts, forms, etc.) so that you can understand how this business works from basic to advanced with EVERYTHING you need to know to do TRUE no-cash-no-credit deals then THIS is what you need...

The video set from this No-Cash-No-Credit 100% LTV Real Estate Cash Flow Seminar.

And, I'm offering a few different options:

Option A...a basement-bottom pricing deal on the video set and materials.  I "sneaked" a little upgrade within Option A to add only a few bucks to get the No-Cash-No-Credit 100% LTV Real Estate Cash Flow System (the full physical version) to your video order.

Option B...the Vegas video set, the No-Cash-No-Credit 100% LTV Real Estate Cash Flow System and the 100% LTV Mentorship Group (starting June 3rd) which will be my last one 'til the very end of this year.  This is one of my most successful mentorship groups, is 100% online, and will take you step-by-step through the process of getting 100% LTV real estate deals done!

Oh, and one more thing: For those who get Option B, you'll get my Verification of Deposit (VOD)/Proof of Funds (POF) letter that you can use to submit with any deal.  For those of you who don't have the cash for your EMD (earnest money deposit) or down payment to show these funds in the form of a REAL VOD then these will usually cost you from $500 and upwards.  This way...you can submit deals without the obstacle of having this VOD or paying for it...or limiting you from getting additional numbers on the property deal.  And it looks like this will be the last time I'll be offering this as a bonus so...take it or leave it!

Click on this link to get the deal:  http://www.monicamain.com/no_cash_no_credit_event_videos

This deal ends on Friday at 5pm Pacific Time.

If you have any questions, call 661-295-5050 after 9am Pacific Time.

I have to be honest: I'm getting to the point where I realize I don't have to "sell" the idea of financial freedom through passive income real estate investing because...either you're smart enough to "get it" by now or...you're not.  If you are, you're already on board.  If you're not, you're going to be content with working for "the man" forever.  And maybe that's good for you.  But for me, I like my financial freedom better.

Either you get it or you don't.  I'm pretty sure you're one who "gets it" if you're reading this email.

Here's the link again:  http://www.monicamain.com/no_cash_no_credit_event_videos

See you at the top!

Your mentor,

Monica Main

Posted by: Monica Main AT 11:02 am   |  Permalink   |  Email
Monday, May 25 2015

Today my 2 furry daughters turn 12.  Yes, I have to furry daughters: Scooby and Bobo.  Both are daughters of the feline kind and came together as a pair, being the only 2 girls in a litter of 5 back in...damn, 2003.  

My office manager at the time, Jodi, gave me these 2 cats.  She was the one who told me I was going to hell because I didn't read the Bible.  She was also the only one who has ever worked for me who actually quit.  We didn't see eye-to-eye on many things, clearly.  But she did give me a gift of 2 little kittens who have, over the past dozen years, seen the best and worst in my life during that time.

Bobo is a black cat and I took her because nobody else wanted her.  Apparently people think black cats are bad luck.  So I took her along with Scooby, my gray and white little lover girl who never lets an evening go by without sleeping within the closest proximity of me as possible.  Both of these little angels have been through so much with me and I believe that, without them, my life wouldn't quite be the same.

I have a theory about animals and why they co-exist with us here on this earthly plane.  I think they're here to help us feel love, understand how to receive love, and help calm us down when the going gets tough.  Everything seems to be okay when they're there around us and many times they bring out the best of our spirit.

This is why I have no understanding as to why anyone could be cruel to animals because the essence of why they're here is nothing short of angelic, healing and loving.  It just means that, simply, people who hate animals or hurt them are way off the path.  After all, what type of person would take a sledgehammer to an angel?  Or God?  Ridiculous if you think about it.  Again, they're only here to help us, love us, heal us, and make us feel better.

So, with that said, I say Happy Birthday to my 2 furry girls and I thank them for being part of my life for the past dozen tumultuous years.  They are truly considered to be an integral part of my immediately family including my furry son, Pineapple, and my human daughter, Brie.

;-)

~Monica Main

Posted by: Monica Main AT 01:53 pm   |  Permalink   |  Email
Tuesday, May 19 2015

Let's officially put today in the "Don't F*** with Monica Day."  The Vegas event has put me into a near-coma where I feel like I haven't slept at all in a week.  On top of that, when I got back into LA on Sunday, my daughter had a bad stomach flu which disallowed me ANY rest since before my Vegas event started.

So then...why is it that I'll have an idiot of a student start in on me right before I get to Vegas, continue while I'm IN Vegas, and won't let up while I'm pretty freaking close to my physical, mental, and emotional breaking point?

And, of course, it's some guy.  Many of them seem to be the bitchiest of them all.

To give you a brief recap of who this dummy is and how he places in my life right now (at least till he gets the boot for good, which will be by the end of this email), he's in my Multifamily Mentorship Group.

Now, I'm not really one to be a dream killer.  After all, some of my most mentally challenged students have done some amazing things in the past several years because, well...my theory is they are too stupid to second-guess anything and they just go for it. (This is actually a benefit, by the way.  A benefit that many of my smarter and more logical students simply don't have.)

But...when it comes to this one particular student...yes, damn it!  I'm going to be a dream killer.  Because it's pretty freaking clear that he's not cut out for this or anything else of value out there in the real world.

First off, his name is Enrique so I can automatically assume that there is an English-as-a-second-language barrier that we're dealing with.  If not...he's double screwed because he doesn't have a hope and a prayer of every doing anything of value in the years to come.

The email starts as follows:

I think my disappointment is growing every day.  Here's what I've encountered so far...

And then there is a listing of things that he clearly cannot understand or is "confused about" (by only Assignment #3!) because he can't read and has no mental capacity to retain a single drop of basic step-by-step information.  One of his complaints was about a website link that wouldn't work for him.  Strangely, that link works for EVERYONE ELSE (including myself) when I click on the link so, again, we're having some major mental obstacles that we're dealing with here with Enrique.  (Enrique, perhaps you should have just STAYED on that banana boat that brought you here.)

As I was laboring on over and over again in Vegas...YOU CAN'T FIX STUPID!

And as tired as I am right now, even my magical powers have sputtered out for the time being to where I have no interest in even telling Enrique that he has no hope in making it in the real business world.

To exist and do extremely well in the business world, you need to be able to think, first and foremost.  You need to be able to do simple things on the computer, including being able to click on links.  You need to be able to put some time and effort into the course materials provided, which he clearly refuses to do.

After all, he signed up for one-on-one training...which he somehow confused the online training with me personally showing up to his house for 8 weeks.  Yes, that's what Enrique thinks one-on-one training is.  This is why he won't read the course materials; because it wasn't written specifically FOR him with the name "Enrique" injected in the contents of the course here and here.  It's not considered one-on-one because other students are also receiving the same course materials too.  And, holy sh**!  I didn't create Enrique's individual audio seminars that included his name in it saying things like, "Enrique, welcome to the mentorship group!  The first thing you have to do Enrique is..." find your freaking brain AND balls!

The business world is tough.  Nobody has ANY time for a bitchy, whiny guy with no balls or brains.  Nobody does.  Including me.

What is he going to ask of a real estate agent or a money broker or a lawyer?  "Why aren't you giving me one-on-one attention by coming to my house to...basically do everything for me since I'm too stupid to do it for myself?  I'm just so disappointed, Real Estate Agent Bob, because you're not doing the entire deal for me.  And I'm disappointed in you, Money Man Larry, because you didn't simply write a check for 100% of the LTV for the property deal that Bob is working on for me and deposit it directly into my bank account for me. After all, going to the bank myself...well, that's just simply not in my schedule.  Dr. Phil is on right now and by the time it's over, the bank will be closed."


Sorry, Enrique.  Yes, you do fall into the category of a cry-baby tire-kicker who is too lazy to do anything for yourself including doing the basic reading that is required for the course. I'll bet $1,000 that you never read through, listened to, and watched the course materials in totality that were given to you when starting the group which is why you're "lost in space." (I have other theories as to why you're "lost in space," Enrique, but I'll give you the benefit of the doubt...which you don't even deserve because it's pretty clear why everyone else "gets it" and you don't.)

In case anyone doesn't understand what a one-on-one mentorship means it's that you are given course materials and assignments that the ENTIRE CLASS gets but I will look at and respond to your homework accordingly.  No, it doesn't mean I DO the homework FOR you.  It means that I help you along when you have questions.

No, I don't go to your house.  No, I don't create a personalized course with your name injected in every other sentence.  No, I don't go buy your properties for you.  So, if that's what you think this is about, then...keep watching TV all day and leave the real world alone for those of us who are productive and can put 2 and 2 together without the need of stick figures in the form of diagrams on a chalk board.

Okay, so maybe I'm being a little unfair here.  And not to Enrique but to the rest of my students who are awesome.

Vegas turned out to be one amazing event.  And yes, the majority of those students in that Vegas group have not only taken my mentorship groups in the past but they've been students of mine for MANY YEARS.

And, I should mention, that by the show of hands, at least 1/3 of my attendees in Vegas already own apartment buildings, most having acquired their properties since starting as my student.  By far, it's been the largest group of student apartment building owners that I've ever had in a single seminar event.

This is what happens when you decide that some of this has to be your responsibility.  My mentorship groups are amazing because it forces you to do assignments where you reach into the real world of investing which is why they result in so many success stories...even more so than students reading a book or attending an event.  You are forced to do the assignments by talking to real estate agents, submitting real offers, and going through the process step by step.

Of course, you actually have to have some basic things which I can't give you including:

1)  Common sense
2)  Usable brain cells
3)  Strong desire

But if you have all of those things then you are about 90% further than most people living and breathing in society today.  (Pat yourself on the back if you fall into that category.)

I have an interesting group starting tomorrow.  And because I dropped the ball on sending out emails a couple of weeks ago, I'm giving you a never-before-done offer for my new 10-week Raising Capital Mentorship Group.  I'm also throwing in the entire Raising Capital course without paying an extra dime on top of the already drastically-reduced price.

By the way, the majority of my students who completed the last Raising Capital Mentorship Group (to the end) were able to get a minimum of $50,000 in unsecured credit and a couple of my students scored over $250,000.  So, if you're looking for money for real estate deals, business opportunities, or other investments then you definitely need to get on board with this group.

Again, it starts tomorrow and this deal ends tomorrow at 5pm Pacific Time.

Here's the link:  http://www.monicamain.com/rc_flash_deal

If you have any questions, call my office at 661-295-5050.

See you at the top!

Your mentor,

Monica Main

P.S.  If you are the Enrique who is not quite "getting it" in my Multifamily Mentorship, you have till Friday to get your act together or you'll be promptly removed from the group. And if you think I'm messing around, try me!  (I'm a peach compared to who you'll be dealing with in the real world of real estate investing so if I'm "offending" you, too freaking bad.  Your first real estate agent will eat you up and spit you out...over the phone. No apology will follow either.  Just "click.")

Posted by: Monica Main AT 12:35 pm   |  Permalink   |  Email
Tuesday, May 12 2015

I guess I'm used to getting MORE than my fair share of stupidity and ridiculousness in my email inbox, during IM sessions, and even on mentorship phone calls with students. However, this past week and up until about 5 seconds ago was a doozy flurry of student stupidity and nonsense.

Of course, I'm used to this and I've gotten numb to it for the most part.  But...as you know, some of these questions and comments exceed the normal level of dumb, bordering on what I'd like to coin as "extreme stupidity" that I'm finding harder and harder to tolerate as the days tick on.

(And by the way, most of you know how bitchy I get right before a seminar so adding stupid questions and comments to the mix is usually not a very smart strategy for you to use right now.)

So, what set me off this time?

Well, it would seem that I have a student of mine who wants me to give her a list of my investor students who have money to put into deals so that they can invest in her deals. And she has been bugging me and my office about it since an IM session last week.

And no, she isn't willing to come to the seminar to network with these students and investor partners.  Instead, I'm supposed to simply photocopy my Rolodex and mail it to her...at least that's what she's expecting.  (Could a tad of dementia be setting in?)

Strangely, this person is a licensed real estate agent and yet doesn't know what the basic definition of confidentiality is.  Apparently I'm supposed to merely hand over this listing of my students with money, including their full names, addresses, phone numbers, and emails because, after all, this is perfectly legal and fine for me to divulge people's private information to her without their consent.

On top of this, she made a snotty comment about the newest 60-40 Loan Program by stating that sellers won't "give their equity away."  Well, that is true.  As you know, the 60-40 Loan Program is when the lender will offer a 60% LTV and will allow the seller to hold a private second at 40%.

Again, it's strange that this woman proclaims to have a real estate license because everybody in "the business" of real estate knows what it means for someone to "hold paper" or "hold a second" on a deal.  It means that they are HOLDING A F****** LOAN. So, how is the seller "giving away" his or her equity when they are getting paid monthly installments on a loan AND getting interest above and beyond what they expected to receive on the sale of the property?  Sounds like a win-win deal for them!  Right??

I have a friend of mine -- bless his heart -- who is relentlessly prying me out of the business of teaching and training.  At least once a week (and lately a lot more), he's been making me analyze why I'm really doing this.  This conversation of "why are you doing this" started back up again when he took a look at the IM transcripts from last week's Business Credit Mentorship when a student was insisting that he couldn't get a virtual office address because he'd call and nobody would answer the phone...for ANY of the virtual office services that he called on.

Of course, I didn't believe the guy because this is not only NOT probable but is actually in the realm of IMPOSSIBILITY.  But, during this dumb-ass IM session, I was also doing the 100% LTV Mentorship IM where I was already highly agitated at my real estate agent student who lives to rub me the wrong way while making herself look foolish in the process.  (This could be, perhaps, why she's not hooking up with the right resources in real estate.  I hate to be the one to break the bad news but nobody wants to work with a bitter bitch.)

I can teach real estate investing.  I can teach Aggressive Business Strategies.  I can guide people in changing their lives.

But I can't teach common sense and I can't inject brain cells into a brain that doesn't exist. That's where the Magic of Monica Main ends.

And just like the likes of that guy Jim -- who I blasted a couple of weeks ago for being a lazy ass -- and now this student who wants me to merely mail her the confidential and private student investor information, I gotta wonder...at one one does my job end and when does the student realize that he or she has to put in a little of their own elbow grease to make things happen for themselves??

(Sigh!)

I'll agree on one point, though.  Resources are needed to move forward in the business of real estate.  It's an OPM business or a business built on Other People's Money.  It's not what you know but who you know, if you think about it.

So...good news.  I'm offering the Motherload Resource Directory 2016.  And it's at such a ridiculously low price that I'll never repeat this deal ever again.

More good news...I'm including a special bonus that everyone has been hounding me about; check it out at http://www.monicamain.com/mothers_day_blow_out.

And...the bad news.  You won't be getting my student investor's personal contact information unless you want to attend a seminar event and get it yourself.  I don't have the legal ability to send anyone my student investor database.  Sorry.

More bad news...this Motherload Resource Directory 2016 deal ends tomorrow at 5pm Pacific Time.

Please note that these Million-Dollar Resources are powerful.  You create and establish relationships with these lenders, brokers, investors and resources.  It's not a toll-free number that you dial up, ask for a certain amount of money, then receive a check for in 2 to 3 business days.  You have to have at least one deal that you need funding for.  You have to be able to speak and communicate well.  You have to be willing to work for your real estate including finding and analyzing the deals.

And I can't do all this for you.

So, if you really want it then I got the resources for you.  If you want to be like Lazy Jim...give up now while you're ahead.

Here's the link for the deal:  http://www.monicamain.com/mothers_day_blow_out

See you at the top!

Your mentor,

Monica Main

P.S.  This is literally your last chance to sign up for the Vegas event which starts on Friday morning.  Click here for more information:  http://www.monicamain.com/no_cash_no_credit_event_in_vegas

Posted by: Monica Main AT 09:00 am   |  Permalink   |  Email
Sunday, May 10 2015

This is a Picture of Me, My Mom, and My Brother Jason.  I think I Was About 5 in This Picture, Making My Brother 3.  My Mom Would Have Been in Her Mid-20s.  It Seems Like This Picture Was Taken a Lifetime Ago...

It'll be 10 years on July 26th since my mom has departed from this planet...suddenly without notice and seemingly before her time.

Since her physical death, I've felt this heavy sense of loneliness, despondency, and despair that has become nothing but the "norm" in my day-to-day emotional psyche set that I've, unfortunately, gotten used to like a low-grade grinding on my soul.  I often wonder how many other people have to sustain a lifetime of grieving that they haven't been able to quite grasp no matter how many prayers, meditations, or trips to the shrink couch they've taken.

Always when trying to dig to the bottom of how or why I feel this chronic black cloud tethered permanently above me and inside my heart, it always comes back to the loss of my mother.  This, of course, is strange considering that my mother and I didn't always see eye to eye and we certainly didn't agree on most anything.  Our life motto's are completely opposite.  But she's my mom.

I think our near-lifelong contention started when my brother came into the picture.  This would be circa 1976.  I would be only 2 years old, too young to sense this clear preference that she had for my brother over me but that would come later.  I would start to notice this favoritism as time went on throughout my childhood when he seemed to get all the toys he wanted, more attention from her, more compliments, and more "babying" overall.

And it only worsened as time went on.

She had a variety of excuses as to why we weren't "close" starting with the laughable one where the doctors had taken me away from her the moment I was born...so we had no time to bond.  She almost fooled me with this senseless spiel except that I immediately realized that this would be bullsh** after I had my daughter; I would come to learn first hand that a mother-daughter bond is formed over the first 6 months to a year and doesn't just "happen" at the split-second of birth.

The next excuse would be that her and my brother were similar "peas in a pod" and just got along better.  If I would have been more generous, loving, funnier, or fill in the blank, maybe we would have "clicked" a little better, she'd tell me.  But we didn't.  And that was that.

And so it was...I would bear the emotional battery of these almost-innocuous comments here and there as I would enter adulthood.  

But she was a good mom overall.  She took care of the basic necessities, cooked to an acceptable degree, and loved us as best as she knew how considering that her childhood was nothing but neglect, abuse, and the loss of her father at the ultra-sensitive age of only 13 years old.  During which her mother would be in and out of a psyche ward while battling alcoholism and letting her kids basically raise themselves throughout high school and beyond.

My mom would talk about breaking the cycle with her own kids.  I didn't see it then.  But I see it now.  Even doing a little bit better for your own kids from the way you were raised yourself is a huge stride in the right direction.  She broke a vicious cycle of abuse, neglect, and alcoholism...almost anyway.

My dad had an affair during the summer when I'd transition from the 7th and 8th grade.  We moved that fall to California where my mom sank herself into an endless downward spiral of drinking from that point on.  My teenage version of Monica would tell my mom to suck it up and move on.  No man is worth destroying yourself over.  The 40-year-old version of Monica would have physically smacked her in the face and yelled, "Suck it up and get your f****** ass together!"

But I'd never be able to tell her that.  Because she's gone now.  I think she knows though. On some level anyway.

As time went on alcoholism spurred into drug abuse.  This would be throughout high school and college for me.  My parents divorced during that time and went their own separate ways.  My theory is that the drug abuse is what gave her the brain tumor.  But that's just a theory.  Who knows if it's remotely close to what happened.

I cringe at how badly my mom emotionally struggled during those years and I'm grateful that through my emotional struggles I don't succumb to alcohol and drug abuse like she did. I'm thankful that I'm much stronger than she was.

It would take my mom being on her death bed to admit to me why she always "favored" my brother and gave him more attention.  She told me, "You were always the independent one who could take care of yourself."

Compliment?  To me, yes.  Absolutely.

When my mom died, she left the majority of her life insurance policy to my brother.  It was a slap in the face to me.  No, I didn't need the money and I would have given the money to my brother anyway but it was the act of her "dissing" me like that that pissed me off.  It was as if it was her last slap in the face to confirm that he was, in fact, her "favorite" all along.

Then, in a peaceful meditation, I heard my mom's voice which said, "I always knew you could always take care of yourself."  I can and I have.

After my mom died, I seemed to be okay with it even though I had wished we had more "healing" time together before she passed.  Then when I had my daughter 3 years later, it opened the wounds up wide and deep.  I had nobody to watch my daughter grow or ask questions about how to raise a baby.  I was essentially alone raising a little girl by myself with no help from mom or anyone else for that matter.

Or at least I thought.  Strangely, my daughter says she "knows" my mom and has seen her here and there.

I guess Mom has really been helping me all along, even in from the other side.  I know this because when the going gets tough being a mom, I get this sense of peace shrouded over me and then I plant myself in the moment with my little girl because I'm reminded that they go so fast.  And pretty soon my time will be over with her just as my time with my mom ended long ago.

So, on this special Mother's Day, I'd like to say, "Thanks Mom.  Thanks for doing the best you could and for still being around.  I'll see you again after my duty as a mom has been fulfilled in this incarnation.  Thanks again!"

Happy Mother's Day to all the moms out there.  Being a mom is the most noble and honorable job any woman could ever be blessed to have.  Keep up the good work!!

See you at the top!

Your mentor,

Monica Main

Posted by: Monica Main AT 01:06 pm   |  Permalink   |  Email
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