I know I'm going to sound like a horrible person for what I'm about to say but I think, at some point, we all get to a stage in our lives where we refuse to be a doormat anymore. At least I'd hope that most or all of us would get to that point.
I decided that 2017 is going to be the year where I ditch every single man in my life that has been nothing but a leach/user/freeloader with their hand out constantly as if I owe them something.
The latest male in my life in line with his hand out was none other than my dad who, I mentioned before, showed up at my doorstep with a suitcase in hand wanting to park his ass in my house while claiming to sort out his debacle with his very ill wife. And this was just after I got rid of one of the many male freeloaders that showed up and left within the last year from my former step-son to my brother to Deadbeat Hubby #2 and then Deadbeat Hubby #3. It never seemed to end. When lessons need to be learned, they keep showing up with the same message but in different forms. With me, the lesson that needed to be learned: Stand up to freeloading men no matter who they are. Stop tolerating it. Stop being abused in this way.
The final falling out with my dad came over New Year's weekend when we sat down to have dinner and, after almost 4 months of residing in my house with seemingly no progress with his household situation, I finally asked him when he's selling his house and moving forward with his life. And with all seriousness in the world, he looked at me and said, "I'm not putting an ill woman out on the street," as if to imply that I was crazy for ever thinking that this was his plan in the first place. And then he chuckled as if to say, Well you bought that lie hook, line and sinker, didn't you?
What a lot of people don't know about me is that I'm half Italian (not to mention a dual-personality Gemini) so my temper is VERY SHORT. However, it does take a while of building and building and building before the volcano explodes. And that's exactly what happened on New Year's Eve. The volcano exploded with no warning, no way to hold it back, and no desire on my part to candy-coat how I felt. I very curtly and probably quite rudely yelled at him about how his problems are not my problem. His wife's issues are not my issues. In other words, his personal bullsh** not only has nothing to do with me but I'm no longer buying into the notion that these things he dumped on my doorstep are things I have to deal with anymore. And then I told him to get the f*** out of my house.
Two days later he was gone. My daughter Brie is ecstatic, as my dad was really suffocating her freedom and comfort levels in her own home. And I'm glad he's gone as well. I needed my house and my personal sanctuary back.
To add insult to injury, as my dad left, he dropped off a $1,700 dental bill on my kitchen table and asked me to pay it. Then he left, locking my door. In other words, refusing to return my key. But I'm having a locksmith take care of changing all of my locks as we speak so he can't come back anymore. I wanted to cry as he left because he left that bill...and it never seems to be enough that these men just want to take and take and take with no remorse, no pride, and no self-respect on their part. At the same time, I felt incredible that I finally launched over another obstacle in my life, learning a lesson I'd struggled with for so long about being a doormat and not speaking up enough. Kicking my own dad out of my house after I decided to STOP being taken advantage of: PRICELESS.
I started thinking about all the others before my dad in different disguises trying to teach me the same lesson of standing up, not tolerating being used, and forcing my will on those who want to impose their freeloader-ism upon me. I think I finally "got" the lesson with the hardest freeloader to kick to the curb: a family member. My dad. But as cold-hearted as it seems to be, it's necessary -- required even -- to lose anyone and everyone who is leaching off of you with no pride on their part. No courtesy to how you feel. No interest in anything but what they can forcefully extract from you. Much of what you'll lose isn't money or resources but a huge chunk of your precious soul gets lopped off and obliterated in the equation. And that's the part that's NOT okay in all this.
My last male-deadbeat project is my second husband who hasn't paid a single cent to my daughter's well-being. (At one point I was paying him child support for a daughter he never saw! I finally had that thrown out of court. That's how some of these self-entitled California boys are...they think everyone owes them something.) He's being served his court paperwork today. After my daughter Brie has been on this earth for 8 1/2 years, he hasn't paid a single penny for anything having to do with raising this child. I have a new female judge and come February 6th, I'll have this fierce woman on my side ruling in my favor to have this deadbeat finally start paying for his child. (Trust me, I don't need his money. But this is part of regaining my power in my life.) And if he doesn't pay? That's fine too. I'll have the state of California get involved and, for those of you who have ever had to pay child support in California, you'd know how vicious this state is to those deadbeats who don't pay. The state will start stripping everything away. No car registration. No license renewal. Contractor's license revoked. Eventually the passport will go too. Finally, it's jail time. And that's how it goes. F*** him. That's what he deserves. The loser.
This New Monica Main isn't a doormat anymore. And there's such immense power in taking back your life and doing the things you've only been talking about for too many years...and not doing for one reason or another. Toxic relationships will RUIN YOUR LIFE. What I also learned is that you adopt the karma of another human being who is close to you in your life, especially those who live in your household. If you have a spouse with a lot of negativity or "bad luck," you'll adopt that as your own. And guess what? Nothing you do or try will ever work out for you until you get rid of this toxic individual or multiple individuals. I've learned this the hard way when finally kicking Deadbeat Hubby #3 to the curb. I was taking on his karma and bad luck which started affecting everything in my own life (and I never realized it until now). Now that he's gone, the karmic tides have quickly shifted back in my favor. My "good luck" is back now that I'm clear of all of these toxic individuals that I got rid of.
Who do YOU have to get rid of now? Who have you been wanting to disconnect from but haven't due to the avoidance of "discomfort" or stress or...God forbid, "hurting" the other person even though YOU are the one hurting yourself in the process? Listen, the longer you stay in these toxic, deadly, and DRAINING relationships -- no matter WHO they are with -- you are essentially screwing yourself out of the freedom and happiness that you deserve. Stop hurting yourself this way. Make 2017 the year that you put these people out of your life where they deserve to be...gone from your "inner circle" of your life for good.
But getting rid of toxic people and relationships is only ONE PART of the deal. Part II is doing stuff that will get you to where you want to be in life. You first have to shed the people weighing you down. Then you have to find the elements needed to help skyrocket your life into the atmosphere of happiness and prosperity.
For many of you, it's finding the perfect tool to make money. And what's awesome about right now, for perhaps the first time in many years, I finally have a tool that is basic, easy to do, quick to make work, and cost-effective to operate as an Aggressive Income Strategy.
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See you at the top!
P.S. The Detroit seminar still has spots available for Gold VIP. Platinum VIP is SOLD OUT. So, if you want in for my only seminar on real estate that I'll be doing in ALL of 2017 then you need to get your seat now. As I mentioned, I have an investor partner that will be showing up and meeting some of you. This is ONLY for those of you who show up and want to chat with him. He's looking for deals, looking for students to partner with, and looking to building more relationships with my students. But only those of you who show up have the opportunity to meet this guy in person. CLICK HERE to grab your spot before we run out of room at this exclusive one-time-only event in Detroit on February 23rd, 24th and 25th.