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Tuesday, September 11 2018
​Did you feel the weight of the day today?
I know I did.
I felt depressed, tired, and a little overwhelmed.  And I think I was just picking up on all the feelings swirling about and among all of us in remembrance of the most significant day of our modern times: 9-11-2001.
We ALL remember that day including EXACTLY where we were, what we were doing, and how we were all agape in horror, confusion, and deep sadness in what began as a bad day that only ended up much worse than any of us had ever anticipated.  And it scarred all of us forever.
Many of you don't know but I have a student who has since become a close friend of mine.  She's also part of my Apprenticeship Group and her name is Nichele.  She was actually IN 9-11 as it happened.  And she almost didn't make it as a result.
While I've always said that this is HER story to tell, I can't help but to take a moment to honor the travesty and unthinkable moments that happened in her life on that fateful day and how it permanently altered her body, mind, and spirit as a result.
You see, Nichele was in one of the buildings next to the collapsing World Trade Towers.  And she was in the building as the towers were collapsing.  Many didn't make it out alive.  But she did. 
But not without permanent consequence.
Her sense of smell and taste is permanently altered.  I believe she carries a sense of depression or a "black cloud" over her, probably in the form of PTSD.  It's like that day stole something inside of her that, I'm hoping, I can help assit her in getting back.  Maybe it stole that sense of wonder in life or the belief in promise of a new day.  I don't know.  But something deep was taken from her that day that she has yet to get back.
Something was taken away from ALL of us on day.
Nichele texted me this morning and told me what a sad day it was.  I knew.  I sensed her feeling of doom and gloom before she even reached out to me this morning.  And my heart just goes out to her and everyone else who was directly (and indirectly) touched and altered by that unspeakable day.
In the past I always took issue to "not forgetting" something.  I always thought it was an unnecessary way in dredging up things that probably should be part of our distant past when it seems that people just want to keep rolling out ceremonies and other ways to "remember" what should be in the rear view mirror of our recent history.
But this is kind of different, isn't it?
It touched ALL of us in such a significant and permanent way that we ALL -- in one way or another -- have some kind of scar that stemmed from 9-11.  It could be a depression of feeling that the world is screwed and it just keeps getting worse, starting from that day.  It could be physical scars, mental scars, emotional scars...or all of the above.  It could be a loss of a loved one from that time.  Whatever it is or however small or large that scar, we were all damaged in one way or another on 9-11 and that's not something you can just forget about and move forward from.  At least not that quickly.
They say: "Time heals all wounds."  Is that really true?
Let me know when you've healed.  I know I haven't. 
Not yet anyway.

~Monica Main

Posted by: Monica Main AT 01:13 pm   |  Permalink   |  Email
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